Royal Court of the Realm of Neptune - The People of the Deep vs. Defendants

King Neptune,
Plaintiff,
vs.

Judith, Jet, Hein and Eltjo Mante
Defendants

Ewout Mante, Captain s/y Bravado (Judge Pro Tem)

Case No.: No. 12-3-456789-1

Longitude: 127-30.000W
Latitude: 00-00.000
Date: March 21, 2009
Time: 1400Z

Trial of Pollywog Crossing the Equator for the first time

SUBPOENA

Dated: Saturday, March 21, 2009

Appropriate Uniform of the Day shall be worn: Sexy Lingerie to please King Neptune may lessen the punishment that is likely due the defendant.

I order and command you to appear before my Royal Court and be initiated in the mysteries of my Special Royal Domain. If you fail to appear you will be given as food to the sharks, whales, sea turtles, pollywogs, salt water frogs and all living creatures of the sea who will devour you head, body, and soul as a warning to all landlubbers who dare to enter my Royal Domain without warrant. It has been reported that the defendant has had the gall to scoff at these proceedings and the authority of King Neptune!! You had better change your ways or suffer the consequences!!!!

You slimy pollywog have been charged with the following offenses, to whit:
1. All: Flagrant disregard for the experience and esteemed position of the good captain of the vessel s/y Bravado.
2. Judith: Failure to appropriately appreciate the beauty of my almighty squalls and associated lightning show.
3. Judith: Showing good spirits at all times, even when finding plenty of the Captain's finger and toenails, when a bad attitude would be so much more appropriate.
4. Judith: Undue hesitation to make a three week journey through my beautifully seascaped realm.
5. All 3 First Class Passengers - Jet, Hein, Eltjo: Showing disrespect for my royal windy seas by lounging in your cabins whilst entertaining yourselves with electronic gadgets.
6. Jet: Failure to appropriately appear with hair properly groomed when my royal messengers, the dolphins, came to check out s/y Bravado.
7. Hein: Providing too much nourishment to my already somewhat opulent, hardworking fish.
8. Eltjo: Resistance to regularly cleanse himself with my royal blue golden water.
9. All 3 First Class Passengers Jet, Hein, Eltjo: Failure to deliver liquorice in copious amounts to the honorable captain of the s/y Bravado.
10. Perhaps the most serious charge of all. Somebody on board may be a Jonah!!!! If so, keelhauling is to light a punishment to be handed out. The captain will be the sole judge of this charge.

These charges are serious and the punishment may be severe. Frankly, there is nothing you can do or say to defend yourselves against any of these charges. As a lowly pollywog you have NO rights!! The captain has full authority of my Domain for the administration of such punishment. You are to appear before captain Ewout Mante and his First Mate Gerbrand Brouwer at his command at 1400Z. Failure to do so will have the most severe consequences!!!

Remember the Two Rules of the Sea:
Rule #1: The Captain is ALWAYS right!!!
Rule #2: If the Captain is wrong >>>>>> See Rule #1 !!!

Signed, Neptune Rex, Supreme Ruler of the People of the Deep